The Problem with Confidence

I was a keynote speaker last week at a virtual conference. The focus was on encouraging more people to join the financial planning industry. I shared the story of my 25 year career with an audience of college seniors as well as some older career changers. At the end of my presentation, I was asked, “How long did it take you to get confident in this career?”

Excellent question.

I paused to think about it, realizing that it took me a very, very long time before I would call myself “confident” in my role as a financial advisor.

Confidence showed up last. First came conviction, passion, drive— even success happened— before I felt confident.

Think about it:

In the early years, we know little about planning, have minimal experience, live check-to-check (when there are checks… sometimes there are zero or negative checks to deal with). And in those meetings, we are perpetually worried that someone will ask us a question we don’t know the answer to.

At the beginning of my career, I learned the skill of avoiding answering questions by saying: “That’s a great question. If you don’t mind, I’m going to defer answering it until our next meeting. I want to do my analysis first, then be able to answer your question within the context of your plan.” Of course what I really meant was, “I do not know if you should utilize the 72T tax rule when you retire because I don’t even know what that is. I’ll need to look it up and come back to you with that answer once I find out.”

Like many of us, I didn’t have much confidence in the early years. But I knew I had conviction. I knew that the work I was doing was making a difference. I believed wholeheartedly in planning, goal-setting, and getting the right amount of insurance and proper investment allocation in place for my clients.

I was also passionate about helping people. I knew the relief people experienced when their plans got implemented, how much better they felt when they understood their 401k options, and the peace of mind that came with knowing they had enough insurance to take care of their families, and that their wills and trusts were finally executed. I was passionate about instilling those feelings in clients.

But confidence? That took a very, very long time to acquire.

Which is why I answered the question from the audience member in this way: “Confidence was one of the last things to show up in my career. And unfortunately it’s the thing we think we need early on, wish we had more of, and assume ‘all will be well’ once we acquire it. The problem is that people end up quitting the business when they don’t feel confident. And that’s a huge mistake because they haven’t given enough time for the confidence to show up.”

Friends and colleagues, especially to those of you who are newer in the business, if you’re wishing you had more confidence, I suggest you focus instead on building your conviction. Think about the conviction you have for this business and the desire you have to help people. Conviction, desire and passion are more readily available to you in the early years, and as effective— if not even more effective— than confidence. People will feel your conviction by the way you speak, and how present their plan to them. They’ll appreciate your passion when it’s authentic. And they’ll take action when they feel you care.

To those of you who’ve been advisors for a long time: you had to help a lot of people in this business before the business eventually helped you. It took years for us to make enough money to feel confident in our own financial security. It took years to learn about estate planning, taxes, and the stock market before we felt confident in our knowledge. And it’s the people who stay invested for the long term who reap the rewards this career ultimately gives us.

After 25 years, I can confidently tell you that it’s worth the wait.