Helping Clients Plan With Pride

When David and Marcus first walked into my office a decade ago, they weren’t sure what to expect. They had just gotten married in one of the first states to legalize same-sex marriage, and they were eager to begin building their life together. But every financial document they shared—from outdated wills to misaligned retirement plan allocations—told the same story: their lives hadn’t been built with financial systems designed specifically for them.

Until we met.

As they shared details about their plans and goals, I listened. I didn’t pretend to have all the answers. Instead, I asked thoughtful questions, acknowledged the unique hurdles the LGBTQ+ community faces, and committed to helping them craft a plan that reflected their values, worries, and legal realities. What unfolded over the next several years was more than a financial plan—it was a roadmap to security, autonomy, and pride

Why the LGBTQ+ Community Needs Our Support

The LGBTQ+ population remains underserved when it comes to financial services. Many clients and prospects still face employment discrimination, limited family support, or financial instability due to healthcare and legal inequities. Others have experienced wrong-fit financial advisors: those who’ve made assumptions, asked insensitive questions, or failed to understand how outdated laws and biases still affect even the most financially successful LGBTQ+ clients.

Working within the LGBTQ+ community isn’t about being a great marketer. It’s about being a great listener, asking the right questions, being willing to learn, and building trust. It’s about acknowledging that while love is love, the laws, benefits, and protections that surround financial planning for LGBTQ+ people have not always been equal.

Whether you’ve been working with LGBTQ+ clients for years, or you’re just beginning to understand our community’s unique needs, here are some essential areas you can help clients navigate:

Estate Planning & Legacy Conversations

• Are your clients’ wills, healthcare proxies, and powers of attorney updated to reflect their chosen family structures? This can be critical when a couple wants to protect themselves, but when family members have other ideas.
• Do they understand how state laws might impact inheritance or medical decision-making?

Tax Planning

• If your clients are federally married, do they understand how joint filing affects their tax liability, spousal retirement benefits, and pension and social security survivor benefits? You can demonstrate all of this with the right planning software.
• If they’re unmarried but living together, are you helping them structure finances in a way that protects each partner? Life insurance can be a great tool for this, especially if they are unmarried and have no traditional spousal benefits.

Retirement Planning

• Have your clients faced career interruptions due to discrimination or lack of family support?
• Have they updated their beneficiaries to reflect their loved ones, partner, or same-sex spouse? Keep in mind that in certain parts of the country, people may not be "out" a work, or may be uncomfortable naming their significant other as their beneficiary. Trust planning can be helpful in this circumstance to create privacy.
• Do they understand Social Security spousal benefits, pension survivor benefits, and spousal rollovers, and whether they qualify?

Family Building

• Are your clients planning to adopt, use a surrogate, or pursue fertility treatments? Do they know what’s covered—and what’s not-- through their health insurance? Does their employer offer any special benefits for them? Have they factored in the costs for these options? Keep in mind that surrogacy can cost upwards of $150,000 and may need to be built into their financial plan.

Insurance & Protection

• Do they need life insurance to protect a non-legally recognized partner or child?
• Have they thought about long-term care and who will take care of them, especially if they have no children? Many LGBTQ+ adults worry about aging if they do not have the support of children or extended family. Are you helping them plan for independence, caregiving, and community?

Business Ownership

• Are your LGBTQ+ business owner clients structuring their partnerships, buy-sell agreements, and succession plans in inclusive and protective ways?

Sensitive Fact-Finding Questions: Get Comfortable AskingThese!

If you are an advisor looking to make an impact in the LGBTQ+ community, here are some different fact finder questions to consider:

• “Tell me about your coming out story if you’re comfortable sharing.” This question creates a safe space, shows you are interested in their story, and can teach you a lot about the person’s struggles, victories and accomplishments. This is a great opening fact finder question.
• Who do you consider to be part of your family?” We often talk about our biological family, as well as our logical family. It’s good to know who’s on the list of important people for the client/couple.
• “Have you faced any financial barriers because of your identity, pronouns, or relationship status?” Again, you are showing empathy and understanding by acknowledging these possible issues.
• “What does financial security look like for you and your partner?”
• “How do you want your assets to support the people and causes you care about most?”
• “Is there anything about your past experiences with financial professionals or other advisors that you’d like me to understand?”
• “Given everything that’s going on in the world these days, how are you feeling about your own security, safety, or rights?” Then just listen. Right now, the LGBTQ+ community is feeling a lot of anxiety and uncertainly about the future. Acknowledging this can positively impact the clients and show you understand that these are tough times for them personally.

These questions go beyond numbers. They show clients that you’re creating space for authenticity, trust, and tailored planning.

The Impact We Can Make

I’ve been working with David and Marcus for more than a decade. They now live half-time in Palm Springs and half-time near their niece in Massachusetts. They adopted a daughter five years ago and recently established a donor-advised fund to support LGBTQ+ youth housing programs. Over the years, we've worked together to help them buy a second home, manage their joint retirement savings, build 529 plans for their daughter and their niece, and create an estate plan that ensures their daughter—and the causes they care about—are fully protected.

At their last annual review, Marcus got emotional. He shared candidly, “You didn’t just help us plan for our future. You helped us build a life we’re proud of. We couldn’t have done this without your expertise... and your kindness.”

As financial advisors, we have a unique opportunity to not just grow wealth, but to affirm dignity, protect chosen families, and help our clients live boldly and safely.